stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Is it penis luge time yet?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
