season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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