he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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