We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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