so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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