Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
