this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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