its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize