Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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