We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
i now understand why vodka
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
