you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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