I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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