and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs