I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
