And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Drunk is a universal language darling
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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