After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
