WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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