yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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