i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
