you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
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Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
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he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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