It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize