i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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