New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
