you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize