she woke up with a sticky ear
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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