I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
