This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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