sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
