I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
