You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
