just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize