How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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