...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
