did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize