Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize