I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
