So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
