If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
