Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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