Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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