Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
