i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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