There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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