Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
