The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
