please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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