4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
