weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
