It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
