well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
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There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
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I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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