i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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