And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
