could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
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We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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