he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
