I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
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