dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize